What if meditation didn't have to be so hard? Continued..
What happens when you no longer fight the various thoughts that arise during meditation? What happens when, instead of being harsh at yourself for not doing it “right,” that instead you embrace the Chalice of Mind and allow yourself the moment to simply be as yourself, not as something distant or perfect or other?
It can be argued that we are biologically oriented to look for failure. It is a means of protection and continuance, and it is no less experienced during meditation.
If you start from the basis that a “pure-mind thing,” an absolute clean slate of mind that seems the goal of meditation is only possible if you are in a coma you realize that thoughts are not necessarily the enemy. Not only that, as we've already explored, we are in constant spiraline motion, but the brain and body strive to make it seem that there is a constant and that though the stars change, it is we who are moving, but the rest of the universe. Along with the effort to create the illusion of stability we are also always managing the past and the future, attempting to place into constructive context and predictive imaging the life that we've lived and the life that are yet to.
In meditation one night, one of the thoughts that arose that was placed on my post-it revolving board was "what's wrong with a thought?"
That is...thoughts that arise, be they past or future, be they charged emotions or plain visuals. These, of their own are not necessarily “bad.” Yet, in every instance in asking clients and students "how is your meditation going?" invariably, the response will be that they "can't stop thinking," and thus abandoned the practice for fear that they were doing it wrong.
But...I offer "what if the absence of thoughts isn't necessarily the goal?"
They look at my quizzically "well, what's the goal then?" They say, expecting me to offer another Asian based Buddhic perfect mind thing that happens only when you are in a cave in Nepal after years of practice. But, that is not what I offer, what I offer is that meditation, Dhyana, is a practice that helps you to be, and to be is to include all of it, your thoughts, your emotions, your past, your future and even the inherent dizziness that is constant, yet normalized by your body and mind.
If there's a secondary goal of quiet, and there often is with this style of meditation, then, that's fine, I offer...but having that as an all-encompassing, perfect thing that should be experienced as soon as we close our eyes often sets us up for failure.
Instead, I offer them to do this:
Imagine yourself sitting in the center, with a large moving carousel going around you, rather like a ticket holder that a waitress and cook would use. And instead of pushing and pulling, trying to negotiate and frankly obliterate your thoughts, you compassionately place them, like a post-it note, onto the wheel ticket holder.
Without going into the story, into the narrative, without going into consideration, planning or any back and forth, simply stating point of fact that the thought is as it is, that therefore, you are as you are, and as such, as you place the thought as a post-it note on the wheel, it gives it context.
And then, return to the central axis, to simply being.
The goal then, seem innocuous to just be. But as DT Suzuki the great Zen teacher admonished meditation is teach us to sit when we are sitting and to walk when we are walking.
Who of us can say that they truly do this, for even a very short time?
Invariably, some of the tickets may resurface, some charged emotions may vie for more attention, more she said/he said and rehearsals may arise as well, good! Seriously, good…you do not push them away, no part of you do you shame, blame or try to obliterate. Each and every is respected and placed on the wheel, given a place of honor if you will, and then…return to center.
